This is really appalling—“Doctor Yourself”:

DoctorYourself.com

World’s Largest HEALTH HOMESTEADING website

If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself. This especially includes your health.

What is this, hmm? This is the work of one “Andrew Saul, PhD”¹ and what a piece of work it is. Every piece of woo medicine you’ve ever read about is contained in this one website. Homeopathy? Yep. What about vitamin C as a cure for AIDS (and HPV! Double whammy on the sexually transmitted diseases there!)? Oh yeah, we got that too. Maybe throw in magnesium for epilepsy too.

But this is all run of the mill stuff. What about his assertion that “the germ theory was complete bullshit” to really throw the cat among the pigeons?

We do indeed have a proper nutcase here. And he appears to have a love affair with vitamin C. Really, there seems to be nothing it can’t be applied to that won’t be fixed within the week. (I exaggerate, but only slightly.) He’s even got a full guide to strong-arming your doctors into giving intravenous vitamin C.

Unfortunately I don’t really have the medical knowledge to go through this site page by page. This is a lifetime’s project for someone.

I’ll leave you with the knowledge that Dr (or should that be “Dr”) Saul is “Assistan Editor of the Journal of Orthomolecular Medicine”, which is probably about as well regarded as Homeopathy. Ho hum.

Just a short Beyond Parody today, as I’m really a bit stunned at this whole scenario. I’m really having second thoughts about putting it in this category, which I’ve been reserving for light-hearted stupidities.

But no matter, it certainly fits with the spirit of things. Never in all my life could I have predicted this. According to the state of Virginia’s laws on parental neglect, faith healing is a legitimate means of looking after your child:

However, no child who in good faith is under treatment solely by spiritual means through prayer in accordance with the tenets and practices of a recognized church or religious denomination shall for that reason alone be considered to be an abused or neglected child.

It’s beyond my limited powers of comprehension why this was considered an even half-way credible idea. That they are honestly advocating prayer healing as valid for anything — let alone cancer, diabetes or anything else life-threatening. — is absurd. What kind of crack are these people on?

So in the second example of things which just seem so far out there it’s a wonder people can take themselves seriously, we have the archetype of ‘science by press release’. Ben Goldacre has the full story about children’s brains gaining “three years’ of development in just three months”. Find out the, ah, details there.

I want to look at the story in general terms. Is there anything that doesn’t scream pseudoscience? So, a checklist:

• Extraordinary claims? Yes indeed. In three months these fat, TV watching 11-year olds were turned into book-loving Adonises, or something.
• Ordinary measures? Yes again. It’s that old favourite, omega-3/6 fatty acids. To turn into a genius, all you need is an amply portioned fish supper.
• Terrible statistics? Of course. With a sample size of four kids (honestly) it’s pretty impossible to determine anything from what they did.
• Uncontrolled variables? Naturally. If 4 subjects doesn’t seem like stretching scientific credibility to you, how about changing loads of things at once? Not only were the kids given a number of supplements they were also asked to cut down on fizzy drinks, fatty snacks and get more exercise. How do we know it wasn’t the games of football that caused the reported improvements in brain power?
• Self-promotion? I’m glad you asked that question: find out more on the researcher’s Channel Five documentary later this week…
• Good for whatever ails you? But of course! The great thing about snake oil is that it can be applied to any illness, real or imagined. The man behind these claims has three books on Amazon, all claiming the efficacy of these same supplements for a wide variety of afflictions. You can purchase Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Natural Way to Treat ADHD, and also The Natural Way to Beat Depression: The Groundbreaking Discovery of EPA to Successfully Conquer Depression and after that Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: A Natural Way to Treat ME.
• Bypassing Peer Review? Sorry, peer what? This is important research that the public needs to know. Quick, call the Daily Mail!
• Science by Commission? Study funded by the TV company that’s making the documentary. I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

All we’re really missing is some form of celebrity endorsement. What better advertisement for the brain-boosting power of omega-3 fatty acids than Jade Goody or Tom Cruise? ;-)

I’ve decided to start a new category to put mind-boggling stuff in. Stuff (like the Conservapedia) which is beyond anything a keen satirist could come up with on their own.

For the first in this new series I would like to introduce GodTube, the Christian version of YouTube. Tagline: Broadcast Him. Presumably YouTube is too secular or something.

There are videos of “Christian clown training” (which you can parse how you wish); a presentation about September 11 and the Book of Revelations; and How to teach the controversy over Darwin legally.

This is truly the video equivalent of Conservapedia.

If I had the ability and know-how, I’d set up a science site called SmartieTube. Named in homage to the late lamented Smartie tube. ;-) But you could just go to YouTube instead…